Category Archives: Uncategorized

WoodReviewer- 5 Years Later


March 31st, 2009 is a date not many people will remember, but it is a date which set forth a series of events that would entirely shape my life for the last 5 years. Was it some major geopolitical event? Family event? Dark personal tragedy? No, it was none of the above. You see, March 31st, 2009 was the day that Roblox officially announced they were adding wood to the game. But like most events that will be referenced in this post, the date wasn’t the true first time I saw wood grain on Roblox, as I was active on Roblox’s test servers then and likely saw it a week or so early.

For those of you who weren’t around then, Roblox released this blog post detailing the Worlds of Wood contest to celebrate the launch of the new material. Of course, being an old Roblox contest everyone tried to game the system and instead of making a new game from scratch, just changed everything in their pre-made games to wood and entered the contest. I, however, had a vision, to bring back an almost mythical place that I had only heard rumors of, a place where gladiators battled it out for supremacy, whose remnants have been ravaged by time to the point where there is nothing but faint outlines left in the ground to mark that they even existed, so I set out to create it.

Naturally, it being 2009 on Roblox, I failed horribly, but wood grain was my first time on Roblox I ever clearly saw something in my mind that I wanted to make, and every few years I still go back and try to make that vision, getting closer and closer each attempt.

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Hello there Roblox, WoodReviewer here, and I am here today with a different type of blog post talking about current events. Normally I try and avoid this, as I don’t like to bring outside topics into my world of wood grain, and I have been sitting here staring at this blog post for two three four five hours now trying to decide if it really is a good idea to discus it, but my mind is now made up and I do have something to say.

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Dragons-Springs Rock

Hello fellow EBR hate club members, WoodReviewer here today for another look at one of the “amazing” showcases made by one of my top 5 favorite punching bags, the Elite Builders of Robloxia. Now unlike most of my EBR reviews that are me clicking on a random EBR member and then clicking on a random place of theirs that is guaranteed to have improper wood grain because EBR, today’s review was inspired by a follower of mine who goes by the handle @Roblox who requested I take a look at Spring’s Rock by AerialsAbove.

I tend to not do many requests for reviews since I actually have a backlog of like 15 reviews that are done and just need to be typed out since my limiting factor in producing blog posts is how to make reviews different and not all sound like the same word salad each time, but seeing as they don’t Tweet much I felt obligated to do a review for them. So, how was the same?

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WoodReviewer’s 2018 Advent Calendar Day 22

Hello you, WoodReviewer here for day 22 of my 2018 Advent Calendar. Today is an important day for two reasons. First, I finally got the hang of WordPress’ new blog format. And second, and most importantly, today was the first day that I did not try to press Pause/Break instead of PrintScreen everytime I took a screenshot for these posts. It only took literally 3 weeks. Anyway, onto the gift.

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WoodReviewer’s 2018 Advent Calendar Day 3

Festive greetings Robloxians, WoodReviewer here for day 3 of my 2018 Advent Calendar. This is the great return of the normal disappointment that is expected from this calendar after the surprisingly high standards put up by the gifts the last two days.

Of course, I’m sure you are wondering what can beat out a wedge in terms of disappointment. But don’t worry, I always fail ate meeting expectations. So what is in today’s gift?


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State of the Wood Grain-Twitter

Hello Twitter users of Roblox, WoodReviewer here, and today I am not here to talk about wood grain, but rather the preferred way that people seem to like to have wood grain delivered to them, Twitter. As some of you may be aware, there has recently been some drama on Twitter where several prominent members of the Roblox Twitter community have been permanently suspended, including CloneTrooper1019, PixelatedCandy, and Lilly_S, along with some other users having their accounts temporary suspended, such as AsimoISuckAtWoodGrain3089 and ScriptOn. These suspensions appear to be the result of a user reporting super old and out of context Tweets to Twitter to get users suspended. For some, like CloneTrooper, finding these Tweets were probably fairly easy. Lilly seems much more innocent. Not only is she a Roblox employee, but Roblox deemed his safe enough to have her as a toy that is featured in almost every Walmart and Toys R Us in the US, meaning the bar for a owning a Twitter account is higher than being the bar for a children’s toy. Even more troubling was the fact Asimo was suspended, albeit for only 12 hours. I have personally gone through every single one of Asimo’s Tweets atleast 4 times looking for dirt on him, and all I have to say is please don’t do that. He is an incredibly boring man, and this makes the fact he got hit by this even more amazing.

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Scary Wood-Hallow’s Eve 2017: A Tale of Lost Souls

Hello ghost and ghoul enthusiasts of Roblox, WoodReviewer here, and today I am taking a look at Roblox’s Official 2017 Halloween event game, Hallow’s Eve 2017: A Tale of Lost Souls by Swift Dev and sponsored by the NERF Zombie Strike Dreadbolt. This game continues the decade long tradition that Roblox has established of a varying quality of Halloween games, with some being pretty good, and others being fairly bad. So how is this years game? Well, let me just state that the image folder for this review is the largest, size wise, that I’ve ever done. So with so much bad wood grain to go over, lets jump right into it.


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Homer-The Simpsons Showcase

Hello Simpson fans who have refused to watch and episode made past season 12, WoodReviewer here, today I am taking a look at The Simpsons Showcase by LukeyBuild. Like most people that are under 50, I grew up watching The Simpsons on TV and really enjoyed the show. And although the exact drop in quality is debatable,  But you know what isn’t debatable? The quality of wood grain within Roblox games.


I’m even yellow like the show

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Wooden Planks-Why They Still Suck

Hello fellow texture lovers of ROBLOX, WoodReviewer here. Today is a great day for ROBLOX. Atleast for me. Why? Because the wooden plank texture finally got updated on ROBLOX, following some of my advice on why the old texture sucked and how to fix wooden planks.

So what does that mean? Someone is working on textures at ROBLOX.

Why is that important? Because if I find any issues with textures someone will fix them.

Now some of you may be confused, since the new texture update for wooden planks, bricks, and other materials literally went up 5 hours ago at the time I’m writing this, but go on. Play some games. Look at the new textures.

Done? Great. Now lets go over why this texture is better, how it can be improved, and why it got worse.

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