Broken-Jail Break

Hello there criminals of Roblox, WoodReviewer here for what is probably my most requested ever, Jail Break, by you know who. Now I am sure why I am choosing to review Jail Break now. Is it because of the Coronavirus? Some anniversary? Is it to set up some larger plan in motion this month? Or is it because Badcc is too busy right now to wire me my money to not review the place in order to not make Asimo feel bad? If I want another check, I can’t say. But with the intro out of the way, lets look at what was previously one of the top games on Roblox, Jail Break.

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Calming-Toyokawa Inari Shrine

Hello there meditating developers of Roblox, WoodReviewer here, today to take a look at the Toyokawa Inari Shrine, made by nezko. Personally, I am looking forward to taking a look at this game as I’ve been told by my doctors that my diet of nothing but pure rage towards developers is not good for me heart health, and by letting go of some of my rage it will help me live longer. That, and the fact that just because corndogs have corn in their name does not mean they are a vegetable. And seeing as the fact I have a full freezer of corndogs that aren’t going away, it seems like meditating in this game is the best way to help lower my blood pressure. And seeing as this game is nominated for a Bloxy for best showcase, I can’t imagine that this game has by bad wood grain.

I mean, just look at this nice calm setting around the fire. With a nice kettle of tea.

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Something-Speed Simulator 2

Hello there interested simulator players of Roblox, WoodReviewer here, and today starts a series of reviews that no one should care about but I a going to do anyway. So what game am I looking at today? Why I am looking at Speed Simulator 2 by Avectus. So, why should no one care about this game? Well, for one it has been 15 months since the game has been updated, and the creator’s account was deleted about a year ago when I went to originally make this review totally useless since this game physically cannot be fixed.

Or played since the game is private.

But I spent like 10 hours grinding through this game so I am going to make this review because those are 10 hours I won’t ever get back, and this is a good starting point for my series of reviews from games that were popular before, and I played, but I just never got around to making a review for. So with that aside, it is time for my look at Speed Simulator 2.


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Hello there chair enthusiasts of Roblox, WoodReviewer here with my first review of 2019. And coming off of this year’s advent calendar, what is a better game to review than a game based on chairs, which is why I am taking a look at Chair by Elttob. For those of you wondering what is in a game called chair, and whose game play entirely revolves around you sitting in a chair, the game is a chair. Personally, I have been looking forward to reviewing Chair as it is a short game that you can finish in about 30 seconds, and see the entirety of the game in those 30 seconds, unlike the current trend of massive 50+ hour simulator games that take you 10 hours to get out of the starting area. So this should be a nice, short review. Not some 1,500 word odyssey that involves a dozen pictures to inform you why the chair that you can clearly see in the thumbnail has bad wood grain.

So, how does the chair in Chair have bad wood grain? I mean, it isn’t rocket science. Just look at the chair.

Chair 1.png

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No Trains-Pinewood Signal Box

Hello there interested train enthusiasts of Roblox, WoodReviewer here with an actual review of a new game. I know, a review of a game that I haven’t reviewed before that isn’t also just making fun of Strobe III. I think this will nearly double my review count for the year. But enough about me, what about the game? What game has piqued my interest enough that I felt the need to have to review it now, stopping everything else I’m doing in the process, after having spent the entire last month making a new review every day. What masterful piece of content could have woken me from my (metaphorical) slumber?

Why a railroad signal box, of course. Specifically Pinewood Signal Box by SetDefault1. While I am by no means a train fanatic, that doesn’t mean I don’t like trains. I have wasted dozen of hours of Google Earth and other satellite imagery sites looking over forgotten railroad paths, and have watched a 30 minute documentary on YouTube of someone walking a long-abandoned railroad in a part of England I’ve never heard of for no apparent reason. So all that, combined with all the attention this place has been getting on Twitter, is why I chose to review it.

So, how it it? Not bad, honestly.


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WoodReviewer’s 2019 Advent Calendar Day 25

Merry Christmas wood grain lovers of Roblox, WoodReviewer here with the final day of my 2019 Advent Calendar, Day 25. Aside from making the end of this years calendar, today also marks that day that this blog goes back into hibernation for the next year as I don’t make any blog posts out of a mix of laziness and due to a lack of good games to review due to them all either being all smooth plastic or taking 40 hours to review. Probably. Maybe. Or this year may see a new reign of terror start. But enough with that for now, onto the final gift in this year’s calendar. What will it be? A self-aggrandizing picture? Some overly complex gift? Maybe just a stick?

Well, I can say for certain it is not just a stick.


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WoodReviewer’s 2019 Advent Calendar Day 24

Festive greetings those who live either East of the Atlantic or west of the Pacific, WoodReviewer here, and while today may be Christmas for you it is still December 24th for everyone else, and as such they have to suffer through two more days of my 2019 Advent Calendar. Although if you are here then I guess you still have to suffer through it also, but only for one day, not two.

Moving on from time zones, it is time for day 24 now, and the gift behind the door. Today with pictures!

So, what will it be?


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WoodReviewer’s 2019 Advent Calendar Day 23

Top of the morning interested toy collecters of Roblox, WoodReviewer here for Day 23 of my 2019 Advent Calendar. But much like yesterday, I still don’t have any images for this blog post due to technical issues. But that won’t stop me from making sure a post gets out today. So, what will be in day 23 once I update it when I get home?

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WoodReviewer’s 2019 Advent Calendar Day 22

Hello there integrated cloud users of Roblox, WoodReviewer here for day 22 of my 2019 Advent Calendar. Today is a very special day as I am out of town today and the blog post draft I wrote for today never saved, nor did the images for today’s post get uploaded to my cloud, so enjoy today’s post without any images and just a description of what is in each image.


So, what is in the box today?

(Door with a sign on it that says day 22)

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