Hello there excited virtual RDC participants, WoodReviewer here, and today I am taking a look at the RDC 2020 virtual picture place thing. Honestly I wasn’t paying much attention to RDC this year because it was mainly built around Discord and honestly, I don’t really like Discord. There isn’t anything wrong with it really, I just get tired of talking to people after like 5 minutes and then leave with my social interaction quota met for the day and don’t come back for a week. And then to top it off Discord decided to stop sending me pings on Sunday so I kind of missed everything that went on that day, so there wasn’t really much for me to talk about for this RDC.
That is, until I saw the benches in the photo place.
Hello there Roblox, WoodReviewer here, and I am here today with a different type of blog post talking about current events. Normally I try and avoid this, as I don’t like to bring outside topics into my world of wood grain, and I have been sitting here staring at this blog post for twothreefour five hours now trying to decide if it really is a good idea to discus it, but my mind is now made up and I do have something to say.
Hello there fellow roller coaster enthusiasts, WoodReviewer here, and seeing as 2020 has already cancelled 3 trips I had planned to see classic wooden roller coasters. So naturally my first idea to fill the void for those trips was to take a look at Roblox theme parks, so I took a look at Roblox Point. Until I realized I already did a review on it. Then I thought about Theme Park Tycoon 2, but yeah, same issue, already did a review on it. So instead I am playing Theme Park Blox World, by DisneyLand Robloxia, a very fitting group name which I am sure where will not regret later. But enough rambling, how does the actual game itself look, starting with a gift shop?
Hello there fairly large size army of your children who are unable to play Adopt Me due to the fact it is killing all the internet, WoodReviewer here again, taking a look at the 2018 Egg Hunt by Fifteam. Again. Again in the area of the map known as Hardboiled City. Yes, this is part 4 of a review on a level of the game. And the total review is up to Part 11. How many pictures is this? I don’t know. I have like 4 folders each with atleast 2 subfolders to hold everything I found, but the filesize of everything is almost a quarter gig. So yeah, the game has terrible wood grain; this should have been clear by part 4. But since most of you are clearly to dumb to understand what wood grain is or how it works, let me go into further detail on everything that is wrong; probably even repeating myself over what I said 2 years ago when this review started since I can’t be bothered to go back and make sure I’m not repeating myself.
So, when we last left off we were heading inside this hotel in Hardboiled City all that was left was to look at the inside of the hotel/fancy apartment. Again, pretty sure there was a reason to, but I forget what it was.
Onto the review, the first image in alphabetical order in my folder for this part of the review was this picture of some kitchen cabinets, so I assume this was the first thing I saw since I don’t feel like going back to the place. Anyway, the cabniets. For starters, the wood grain on the bottom of the shelves is incorrect. The wood grain should go from one side of the shelf to the other, not front to the back. Next, the top and bottom supports for the glass on the doors is incorrect. Like the bottom of the shelves, the grain should go across the width of the doors, not from the top to bottom. And lastly the side of the doors is incorrect, and the wood grain here should be vertical.
Hello there criminals of Roblox, WoodReviewer here for what is probably my most requested ever, Jail Break, by you know who. Now I am sure why I am choosing to review Jail Break now. Is it because of the Coronavirus? Some anniversary? Is it to set up some larger plan in motion this month? Or is it because Badcc is too busy right now to wire me my money to not review the place in order to not make Asimo feel bad? If I want another check, I can’t say. But with the intro out of the way, lets look at what was previously one of the top games on Roblox, Jail Break.
Hello there meditating developers of Roblox, WoodReviewer here, today to take a look at the Toyokawa Inari Shrine, made by nezko. Personally, I am looking forward to taking a look at this game as I’ve been told by my doctors that my diet of nothing but pure rage towards developers is not good for me heart health, and by letting go of some of my rage it will help me live longer. That, and the fact that just because corndogs have corn in their name does not mean they are a vegetable. And seeing as the fact I have a full freezer of corndogs that aren’t going away, it seems like meditating in this game is the best way to help lower my blood pressure. And seeing as this game is nominated for a Bloxy for best showcase, I can’t imagine that this game has by bad wood grain.
I mean, just look at this nice calm setting around the fire. With a nice kettle of tea.
Hello there interested simulator players of Roblox, WoodReviewer here, and today starts a series of reviews that no one should care about but I a going to do anyway. So what game am I looking at today? Why I am looking at Speed Simulator 2 by Avectus. So, why should no one care about this game? Well, for one it has been 15 months since the game has been updated, and the creator’s account was deleted about a year ago when I went to originally make this review totally useless since this game physically cannot be fixed.
Or played since the game is private.
But I spent like 10 hours grinding through this game so I am going to make this review because those are 10 hours I won’t ever get back, and this is a good starting point for my series of reviews from games that were popular before, and I played, but I just never got around to making a review for. So with that aside, it is time for my look at Speed Simulator 2.
Hello there chair enthusiasts of Roblox, WoodReviewer here with my first review of 2019. And coming off of this year’s advent calendar, what is a better game to review than a game based on chairs, which is why I am taking a look at Chair by Elttob. For those of you wondering what is in a game called chair, and whose game play entirely revolves around you sitting in a chair, the game is a chair. Personally, I have been looking forward to reviewing Chair as it is a short game that you can finish in about 30 seconds, and see the entirety of the game in those 30 seconds, unlike the current trend of massive 50+ hour simulator games that take you 10 hours to get out of the starting area. So this should be a nice, short review. Not some 1,500 word odyssey that involves a dozen pictures to inform you why the chair that you can clearly see in the thumbnail has bad wood grain.
So, how does the chair in Chair have bad wood grain? I mean, it isn’t rocket science. Just look at the chair.
Hello there interested train enthusiasts of Roblox, WoodReviewer here with an actual review of a new game. I know, a review of a game that I haven’t reviewed before that isn’t also just making fun of Strobe III. I think this will nearly double my review count for the year. But enough about me, what about the game? What game has piqued my interest enough that I felt the need to have to review it now, stopping everything else I’m doing in the process, after having spent the entire last month making a new review every day. What masterful piece of content could have woken me from my (metaphorical) slumber?
Why a railroad signal box, of course. Specifically Pinewood Signal Box by SetDefault1. While I am by no means a train fanatic, that doesn’t mean I don’t like trains. I have wasted dozen of hours of Google Earth and other satellite imagery sites looking over forgotten railroad paths, and have watched a 30 minute documentary on YouTube of someone walking a long-abandoned railroad in a part of England I’ve never heard of for no apparent reason. So all that, combined with all the attention this place has been getting on Twitter, is why I chose to review it.
Merry Christmas wood grain lovers of Roblox, WoodReviewer here with the final day of my 2019 Advent Calendar, Day 25. Aside from making the end of this years calendar, today also marks that day that this blog goes back into hibernation for the next year as I don’t make any blog posts out of a mix of laziness and due to a lack of good games to review due to them all either being all smooth plastic or taking 40 hours to review. Probably. Maybe. Or this year may see a new reign of terror start. But enough with that for now, onto the final gift in this year’s calendar. What will it be? A self-aggrandizing picture? Some overly complex gift? Maybe just a stick?
Well, I can say for certain it is not just a stick.