Hello there pretty little princesses of Roblox, WoodReviewer here, and if you are are on a lower end device, I highly suggest you don’t read the entire review because it is very picture heavy. For those of you who are new here and don’t understand how wood grain works, I highly suggest either reading a normal review of mine, my very outdated and basic guide to wood grain, or just look at some real wood because this review will not explain why the wood grain is wrong because I only have so many ways to say “VERTICAL WOOD VERTICAL GRAIN, HORIZONTAL WOOD HORIZTONAL GRAIN” which is like 95% of the problems with wood grain. Even on my shorter reviews I run out of ways to say that, hence the awkward transitions in many of my reviews, especially when most reviews have multiple of the same asset and I just treat them separately to pad out the review about. But today I am reviewing Princess Castle Tycoon by Banana Bunch, and I will run out of ways to keep repeating myself. Instead, this review is a mostly unhinged rant because the wood grain is so bad with pictures showing some of the bad wood grain, because oh my God there is a bunch of bad wood grain.

Hello there fellow kids whose fathers made them watch a 30 year old TV show as a kid that somehow still had new episodes coming out, WoodReviewer here with a quick look at Courtroom Shenanigans by rayraydog. For those of you who enjoy the normal word vomit of my reviews, firstly what is wrong with you, secondly this is going to be a very short review compared to most of my reviews due to the fact this entire experience is a single room, and due to some unknown illness I’ve had all week I couldn’t be bothered to come up with some unique way to do this review, so enjoy this nice and abbreviated review.

Hello there midnight snackers of Roblox, WoodReviewer here with a brand new game that most of you have probably never heard of, Microwave Dinner by the Microwave Dinner team. Microwave Dinner is a unique game, in that you play as a sentient microwave that can transform into a unicycle that can drive on water. This is a very unique game, and also fairly risky as despite the fact that platforming games on Roblox can be fun to play, they tend to not perform too well due to user retention and monetization issues. However I am not here to talk about those issues, just issues relating to wood grain, and with how unique Microwave Dinner is I really hope I can give it a good review to possibly help boost it up.

Hello there football fans of Roblox, WoodReviewer back again this year with another look at an NFL Tycoon, Super NFL Tycoon, this year by GameFam. Yes, another year and another NFL tycoon apparently, only this year by GameFam rather than MelonDev. This new games begs several questions, such as is this going to be a new thing every year? Will the tycoons improve? Will they ever make an NFL game that isn’t a tycoon? Will the game devs keep changing every year? Unforantetly, I can’t answer any of those questions. I can, however, answer if the wood grain is good, and spoiler, it isn’t.

Hello there fellow Twitter users with terrible sleep schedules, WoodReviewer here to take a look at making memes in your basement at 3 AM tycoon by Badass Experiences. Now I am sure that just by looking at the name of making memes in your basement at 3 AM tycoon and the featured image of this blog post, you probably have several questions about what this game is about, and trust me, if you play it you will have several more questions. But the game is confusing enough, how about the wood grain?

Hello there fellow classic game lovers of Roblox, WoodReviewer here to take a look at a classic game I found the other day that for some reason still has a surprisingly large player count, Waterpark by Bricktronic. This is a classic game from the 2012-2014 era of Roblox that is from a simpler time, where you could get to the front page with a group of 4-5 friends getting up at 6 AM before the rest of the Americans woke up to play a game could help catapult the game to the front page for the day before everyone went to sleep that night causing the game to be forgotten by all but a few people for the rest of time. However, despite its age Waterpark still seems to be sitting at a consistent 600-700 players despite looking like it was ripped straight out of the past. So, if it continues to have stood the test of time to the players, has it stood the test of time to me since I last played it nearly a decade ago?

Hello there rally enjoyers of Roblox, WoodReviewer here with my first proper look at a racing game on Roblox, WRC Roblox Rally by Screenslicer2. Racing games on Roblox tend to be hard to review for several reasons, either because of some restricted camera settings while you are sitting in a car, the fact the cars tend to be limited to the track and blocked off from the scenery, the short nature of races during which you can review wood grain, or the fact most racing games are pretty bareboned in their design. Luckily for me, WRC is a time-trail game that lets you walk around the map, so I have free reign to show you all the bad wood grain.

Hello there theme park enthusiasts of Roblox, WoodReviewer here to took a look at another ancient genre of Roblox games, theme park games, today looking at Tree Tops Theme Park by Starfish Game Studios. Theme park games on Roblox have a surprisingly long history, from JJ5x5’s Thrillville Parks that basically killed people for YouTube videos to Django136’s original coaster which was basically a conveyor belt that flung people at high speeds through loops, to Muscle_God’s Six Flags park with completely vertical hills, to ICE128’s more modern realistic coasters, and finally to Starmarin614’s Roblox Point, which marked the first true modern Roblox theme park. Along with the dedicated coaster builders other Roblox legends like Are92, Stravant, and even my second favorite punching bag Asimo3089 have thrown their hat into the ring at one point making a coaster or park, so with such a long history as to parks predating wood grain being added to Roblox by nearly a year and a half, how does Tree Tops Park do with it?

Well, not very good.

Hello there Zeke and Luther fans, WoodReviewer here to take a look at a genre of game that basically only exists because Roblox needed money back in 2009, skateboarding, with one of the most popular games currently in that genre, Skate Park by Skate Central. Or Retro Shrimp. Or Starmarine614. I mean after 14 years of being on the site I do understand ownership structures can get a bit complicated, but I feel like if you can understand this ownership structure you should be able to understand wood grain just fine.

Wait, never mind, I guess it is true that they teach business at most colleges and not wood grain.