Hello Nvidia users with high-end graphics cards, WoodReviewer here, today I am taking a look at Lightly Fried Fish Fillets by Mountebank. Just as a warning, if you have a potato for a computer this game will probably struggle to not catch on fire. The game is fairly pretty, though. Just look at this view of millions of polygons right outside of the tower you spawn in.

Unfortanetly, the spawn tower has this wooden platform that contains bad wood grain, so everyone out there that was hoping for a review with only good wood grain, sorry. The issue here is that on large boards with planks, the grain on the end should have vertical lines to show that there is a gap on the end.

However, this is mainly for large boards. Take this bridge, for example. Here the boards are mostly square, so either side could be the top or side. Here, the orientation for the sides does not matter.

Even on the roof for this house, which has a bunch of roughly one stud wide boards, even though the side if thinner than the top is wide, it doesn’t really matter which direction the the end goes.

And even for thinner boards, like on this dock, that are one board wide and only .3 or .4 studs tall, the end direction does not matter since each individual board is basically one board, and there do not need to be gaps separating the boards.

The issue starts in the first picture, or for the roof on this house, for example, where each brick with the wooden plank texture clearly represents multiple pieces of wood. Then the end texture should match up between the top and bottom.

Now, if this was the only issue with wood grain I may be forgiving. Thankfully it is not so I don’t need to be. Once issue you may have noticed are the barrels. There are dozens of them around the map.

In this picture there are two in the foreground, and 5 or so hidden in the truss structure behind me. For barrels, the wooden plank texture should go from the top to the bottom. This is because, if you look at barrels, the planks always go from the top of the barrel to the bottom, they don’t have the planks bent around the barrel.

This is an example of some from my review of the old Medieval Castle Template Place, for reference.

Next up on the list of items with bad wood grain, these chairs. There were several of them scattered throughout the place. The issue here is the bottom of the chair leg, including the circular details, had horizontal wood grain, not vertical. In addition, there is a part above the decorations for the legs that has proper wood grain, making the error more noticeable.

That was all of the bad wood grain I saw. There was one thing I quickly thought was bad at first, this chair in the theater. If you look at just the top section, it appears bad since a thing bad at that top has vertical wood grain instead of horizontal.

But if you look at the back and realize it is a solid board, then the issue goes away and it is correct.

So, how was the game overall? Fairly impressive. It had a bunch of detail, and Mountebank clearly learned from my early days of annoying him on Twitter for bad wood grain. Between the looks, amount of detail, and the amount of bricks, I would have to be soulless to say the game is bad. Thankfully, I am soulless, guided only by proper wood grain, and because the game has some improper wood grain, especially with assets like barrels that are reused so much, I have no choice but to say the entire game is terrible.