Woof-Far Lands

Hello ladies and gentlemen, my name is WoodReviewer, and welcome to Far Lands.  Far Lands is made by Far Lands Advisory Board, and is lead by ChadTheCreator. It is a role-play game where you do role-play stuff with other people. Of course, instead of acting like a different person I decided to act like my normal self, and inspected the wood grain.

My journey in Far Lands began in the great walled city of South Dover. I began at this small stall selling things, but mostly complaining to people passing by about how bad the wood grain was on the roof for the stall.


In addition to the stall, this cart behind the stall had improper wood grain on the wooden arms, and the supports for the arms. Since the arms have the most pressure applied to them, they had a serious risk of breaking.


Moving on from my stall, I headed home. Unfortunately, the vertical supports for the porch and the railings both had improper wood grain.


I then decided to head to the local post office to complain about the bad state of wood grain in the city. However, the porch on the post office also had improper wood grain on the supports for the roof and railing.


I then decided to complain to the king about this. To do so, I had to head into the castle. The first step to do this was to climb a poorly made ladder. For those who are unaware, trusses should never have wooden planks or wood as a texture, because the texture is terrible when used on trusses.


I then had to cross a portion of the wall that had fallen over due to improper wood grain. Probably. However, the temporary fix for the wall was wooden planks, and these planks also had improper wood grain on the top part of the texture.


Heading into the castle I saw this grand table. Unfortunately, both the legs and the top of the table had improper wood grain, with the legs having horizontal grain rather than vertical, and the top of the table not stretching between the legs.


Heading up to the top of the castle, I was greeted with more improper wood grain on these ramps. The wood grain should stretch from one floor to the next, but it did not.


Continuing on I saw some book cases. The vertical supports were fine here, but the shelves had improper wood grain with the grain not stretching across the book cases to the supports.


The last thing I saw before I left the castle was this chest. It had improper wood grain on the supports in the corner.


Leaving the castle, I decided to take my wood reviewing skills afar. But then I got to the boat dock and unnecessary sun effects. In addition, it had wooden trusses, again, and the main supports for the crane had improper wood grain.


Going onto the boat, the main sail also had improper wood grain.


After a short trip on the boat to a new land, I made a new home in South Haven. However, the towns were build by the same government so all the stalls and houses had the same issues.


The towns defenses also struggled, with the catapult having improper wood grain on almost all of its supports.


Although, based on the wood grain on this nearby windmill, if war ever were to happen it would be over very quickly as all the wooden structures would collapse from bad wood grain after one shot.


With the cities filled with bad wood grain, I headed out into the country. I was immediately greeted by this water wheel, whose support had improper wood grain, as did the supports for the adjacent mill.


At this point I then came across an animal barn. On the outside, all of the white supports had horizontal, rather than the correct vertical, wood grain.


Inside were some animal stalls. Same story here; the wood grain on the vertical supports was improper. However, I did find a horse here.


Unfortunately this was as far as I could get in the game. As I got further towards the Far Lands the game broke down, and some lighting glitch turned everything to neon and caused what I assume was a nuclear holocaust.


Nuclear holocausts aside, the game overall was very bad. There were some assets, like houses and stalls, there were reused numerous times, all with improper wood grain. I am sure there were more examples of bad wood grain that I missed due to the holocaust and such. Still, the wood grain was terrible and everyone who used bad wood grain should feel bad.

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