Bad-2019 Bloxys

Hello Roblox devs who still get upset over the Bloxys being a popularity contest despite the fact that every public voting contest is literally a voting contest, WoodReviewer here today to take a look at the 2019 Bloxy Awards/Stage/Gaming Room thing. Yup, instead of just a poorly lit stage area, this year Roblox gave me an entire theater to make fun of them for having terrible wood grain at. Unfortunately I was unable to watch the Bloxys live as I was away from my computer dealing with some fire wood that desperately needed to be burnt, and I needed to do it. Anyway how was the theater?

Well, not good. The first place to start was in the sewer, that exists because reasons, with this table thing. Or maybe it is a rack of some kind. I’m not sure what it is, and I don’t feel like going back to see what it is with some more context clues. Anyway, the wood grain is bad and that is all that matters.

Moving on from the sewers and outdoor area, the next was the gaming room/dance floor inside the theater. This third of the map had the most issues, as it was first off inside, and second didn’t reuse the same assets constantly like the actual theater part of the theater does. My initial issue here was with this door, which should have vertical wood grain on it. However, upon further inspection it seems as if the door has a slight wooden-plank texture to it, or maybe some type of weird detail shading texture. Giving the place the benefit of the doubt, I will assume it is wooden planks and give this part of the door a pass. I mean, it isn’t like I can’t find more improper wood grain around the place.

Like this planter, for example. It is clearly a union or a mesh, and while the top face closest to me has proper wood grain, the two other top surfaces are incorrect, with wood grain going from the center of the planter outwards, instead of making a circle around the planter.

Next up was this little bench thing. It is kind of hard to see due to the poor lighting that I assume was added to make it harder to see proper wood grain, but the sides of the armrest have horizontal wood grain. The top of the armrest, however, has vertical wood grain, but only on the uppermost face. While one would think the top part would be incorrect, it is actually correct, with the sides being incorrect, as they should have vertical wood grain instead of horizontal wood grain.

Moving on a bit faster now as this place is fairly small and I don’t want to turn this into a 10,000 word epic of improper wood grain (I’m saving that for something special), the next issue was the trim on the stairs. But only part of the stairs. The straight segments were correct, as were the corners and some of the curves. But other curved segments had one piece of wood on the side with vertical wood grain instead of horizontal wood grain for some reason, probably due to using wedges or something else. But most likely pure laziness.

Moving onto the disco room was this speaker. It should have vertical wood grain. Not much else to say here.

Same with these wooden planks in the not-a-real-bar not-bar area. The front faces of the planks were correct, but the sides were incorrect. All the faces should be the same as the ones at the front.

Continuing on through the lightning-round section of this blog post that contains horizontal wood grain that should be vertical, the side supports for the bathroom door were incorrect. Also the doors were shorter than Robloxians so people could see over them, which is just a party foul.

And last but not least in the bathroom was the mirror. At this point the issue should be obvious, but if it was that obvious then people should have already fixed it. The sides are incorrect, and should be vertical.

And that’s all for the outside, next is the main stage for the theater. And to be honest, there wasn’t much to see here. The chairs were all plastic and the walls were all non-wooden. However, the was one last hope for improper wood grain being here. And what better thing to have improper wood grain than old-faithful, chair and table legs.

And thanks to the super-useful flashlight that was provided, you can clearly see the improper horizontal wood grain on these chair legs.

And of course to go with the chair legs were some improper table legs.

So, how was the Bloxy Theater? Not good, as indicated by the fact this review is more than 800 words and I didn’t even really pad it with any major off-topic rants. Of course this doesn’t put it anywhere near the bottom of the list in terms of worst event places, as that still belongs to the 2018 Egg Hunt. But not being worse than the 2018 Egg Hunt is really not a good thing.

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