Hello there Abraham Lincoln fans of Roblox, WoodReviewer here for a review of Rocketeers by Badimo. And by Badimo I mostly mean Asimo3089 since Badcc doesn’t build. For long time readers of this blog, one I’m sorry for wasting so much of your time, and two you should be familiar with my long rivalry with Asimo over his love of using improper wood grain in games, insisting he won’t do it again, and then doing it again in his next game. So, how is the wood grain in Rocketeers?

Hello there backyard toy enthusiasts of Roblox, WoodReviewer here to take a look at Toy SoldierZ by CDK Development. I am aware that many of you are probably wondering why am I reviewing this game instead of the review of the new City Template place Roblox, made, and don’t worry, that is coming soon, I just keep falling down more and more rabbit holes while working on it. Don’t worry, I promise it is coming soon, but for this week enjoy my review of Toy SoldierZ. So, how is the wood grain here?

Not very good.

Hello there developers waiting on my look at the new City Roblox template, WoodReviewer here, and my look at the new City template place is coming soon, I just had an unfortunate accident in Blender where I mistook the loop cut took for the select tool, and long story short save you work often and don’t always overwrite your old work unless you want to end up with an n-gon that has roughly 179 vertices along a single side. Once I get that sorted my review on the new template will be up, but until then please be content with my last-minute review of Fushimi Castle by Hiuh29. So, is the wood grain here any good?

Hello guys. WoodReviewer here. Now that the introductions are over, its time to actually start annoying people. What a better way to start this by starting at the most popular place in ROBLOX’s history, Work at a Pizza Place by Dued1.

Now, are you hungry? Ready to eat some nice, hot pizza in a small town where oddly enough the only industry is a pizza place that everyone in the town works and everyone orders from but is still able to see a growth of wealth despite the fact there is no obvious source of new income for the town? Well, you should look down.

Hello fellow elder members of Roblox who use to play Roblox games because it was legitimately one of the best destruction sandboxes out there, WoodReviewer here to take a look at a game that harkens back to the good old days of Roblox where the top game on the entire site was just blowing up massive Simpson’s characters with Destroy a City by SurfaceGlue. I found Destroy a City a few months ago, but for reasons I just never did a review on it, but after being under a bit of stress the last few weeks I decided to find it again because nothing relieve stress quite as well as chopping wood, and seeing as I cut all of my wood up in the fall, blowing up pixels will have to suffice until another tree comes down. So, how was the wood grain in my second favorite stress relief?

Hello there showcase lovers of Roblox, WoodReviewer here to take a look at Woodland Home Showcase by Aerophagia. Originally this intro was going to be a long discussion on how much I love the recent revival of showcases and how they made my job of reviewing wood grain so much easier and how because showcase builders usually have such large egos they usually get really mad when I review their showcases. But then I decided to have a look back at when was the last time I reviewer a proper showcase, and it turns out I haven’t done a proper showcase review in almost three years now. That is honestly kind of shocking with how heavily I used to review showcases back when I was much more consistent with my posting, yet I haven’t done one with my fairly consistent posting this year. So, with this return to form being overdue by almost three years, how is the wood in Woodland Home Showcase?

Hello there wannabe Jeopardy players, WoodReviewer here to take a look at a somewhat new and relevant game, Shovelware’s Brain Game by Shovelware Studio. I am a longtime fan of Shovelware studio because despite the fact the studio’s logo is a picture of a banana shoveling poop and the fact their older games were basically Roblox equivalents of the PS2 era of decent by out of place movie tie-in games, those games were unironically better than most series Roblox game, and I would much rather play Minions Adventure Obby: Despicable Forces than Jailbreak.

Anyway, on to the actual game. Shovelware System’s Shovelware’s Brain Game is a basic trivia game filled infront of a live food based studio audience which requires me, a fully grown adult with a college education, to prove my intelligence against a bunch of pre-teens by answering questions about things that occurred before their were born. However, seeing as the entire game is basically just a studio set in a single room, their can’t be that much wood grain, right?

Hello there fellow humans that dislike drinking swamp water, WoodReviewer here to take a look at what was historically one of the largest swamps in the United States, Ohio by DevvGames. Ohio is a game revolving mostly around death and gun violence while you live in an inescapable cycle of poverty, which for those of you unfamiliar with Ohio basically describes Ohio to a T, only in recent times Ohio has been covered in an adnominally high number of toxic train derailments. This can either be seen as a series of unfortunate accidents, or perhaps an attempt by Ohio to return itself to return to the great black swamp that covered much of the state before it was cleaned up. Anyway, that is enough about Ohio the place, but what about Ohio the wood grain?

Hello there brave souls who have decided to return after my unhinged rant last week, WoodReviewer here again with part 2 of my review of Princess Castle Tycoon by Banana Bunch! I promise this week’s review will be a bit less unhinged than last week’s review, mainly because I limited myself to 15 screenshots of bad wood grain this week, rather than the 60 screenshots last week. This week we are taking a look at the Garden expansion of the game, which is basically a small outdoor garden area that is completely detached from the main tycoon. Is the wood grain here better?

Hello there pretty little princesses of Roblox, WoodReviewer here, and if you are are on a lower end device, I highly suggest you don’t read the entire review because it is very picture heavy. For those of you who are new here and don’t understand how wood grain works, I highly suggest either reading a normal review of mine, my very outdated and basic guide to wood grain, or just look at some real wood because this review will not explain why the wood grain is wrong because I only have so many ways to say “VERTICAL WOOD VERTICAL GRAIN, HORIZONTAL WOOD HORIZTONAL GRAIN” which is like 95% of the problems with wood grain. Even on my shorter reviews I run out of ways to say that, hence the awkward transitions in many of my reviews, especially when most reviews have multiple of the same asset and I just treat them separately to pad out the review about. But today I am reviewing Princess Castle Tycoon by Banana Bunch, and I will run out of ways to keep repeating myself. Instead, this review is a mostly unhinged rant because the wood grain is so bad with pictures showing some of the bad wood grain, because oh my God there is a bunch of bad wood grain.