Author Archives: WoodReviewerRBX

Throwback Thursday-Turkey Hunt 2010

Ho ho ho, Merry Thanksgiving. WoodReviewer here, and today I am taking a look at a classic Thanksgiving Day game since, well, the last few years there haven’t been any real Thanksgiving Day games. Anyway, today I am looking at Turkey Hunt 2010: The Game by  Kuunan, NanuukoftheNorth, eumesmo92, and most importantly GollyGreg. Now some of you may wonder why I am complaining about a six year old game have improper wood grain. As I’ve mentioned a few times, GollyGreg caused me to create this account. I don’t want to say inspired because that may imply that his wood grain caused me to want to help others have equally good wood grain, but with the anniversary of my creation tomorrow and due to the fact this game is the only one Golly has ever actually finished, I felt like it was time to review it.

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Grinder-Portal Heroes Beta

Hello endless clicker game players of ROBLOX, WoodReviewer here. Today I am taking a look at a new game that just came out last week, Portal Heroes by SirMing. It is the first real incremental game game to make it to the front page. As someone who like to over due stuff in games, I hate these games because I always play them way to much to try and break them. As a result, I’ve played Portal Heroes for a good 60-72 hours since it came out. If only it came out a week or so earlier it would have been my most played game of 2016 for the Bloxxy awards.

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Poor Paving-The Streets

Hello aspiring gangsters of ROBLOX, WoodReviewer here. Normally on ROBLOX, games fall into one of two categories: actual games and showcases. Actual games are, well, games, and showcases are just neat places where you can look around. While games tend to have simpler maps to allow players with weaker PCs, and now tablets and XBones, to play without much lag, showcases tend to go all-in on detail to the point where even players with the most powerful PCs will see their GPU usage spike as they observe chairs made out of 200 bricks littering the place.

This is not to bash either type of place; showcases are useful for showing off how bad the creator is with wood grain in as many bricks as possible, while places have the player enjoy the experience while  the bad wood grain is lurking in the background. My point is, there is usually a fairly large gap on ROBLOX between very well built showcases on ROBLOX and games that are interactive for players. Today I am looking at The Streets by SharkWorl. It is a game that takes the detail of most showcases, and incorporates gameplay mechanics to create a hybrid of the two place types. Normally this is when most ROBLOX game reviewer would praise the game for what it does. And so would I, if it had proper wood grain.

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Old Era-Merchant Tycoon

Hello tycoon players of ROBLOX, WoodReviewer here. Today I am looking at another tycoon I found a few days ago. This one goes by the name Merchant Tycoon and is made by Varyze. Now some of you may be wondering why I’m doing another tycoon. Personally, I find most of the current ROBLOX tycoons bearable. I enjoy the old dropper ones from 2008 and 2009 a bit more only because you had more options to try and optimize your production by skipping steps/upgrade paths while most current tycoons hide all future unlocks behind unlocks you needs to buy, causing you  the player to only have 3 or 4 upgrade paths at a time, regardless of how long you are willing to save up money. Still, I don’t find the current crop of tycoons to be nearly as bad as most people make them out to be.

Besides for the wood grain, that is.

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Sponsored-Island Adventures

Hakuna matata Disney lovers of ROBLOX, WoodReviewer here. Today I have a very special review of the sponsored game Moana’s Island Adventure, sponsored by Disney’s upcoming movie Moana. Now, why is this so special? Is it because I am being sponsored to create this review? Well, no.

Is it because I helped make the game? Also no.

Is it because it represents a new sponsorship partnership between ROBLOX and one of the biggest media companies in the world? No.

Is it because the game is a massive improvement on any other game that anyone on ROBLOX has ever made? IDK. I’m just here for the wood grain. So why is this game so special? Why am I literally giggling with joy as I write this? Because of who made it.

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Interest-Bank Tycoon

Hello adventure capitalists of ROBLOX, WoodReviewer here. Today I am taking a look at another tycoon in  the form of Bank Tycoon. Now some people may be curious why I am wasting my time with tycoons recently. The truth is I just felt like playing some tycoons because I felt like it. Not really any other reason. And while I’m playing them, no better way to pass the time while you wait for your money amount to increase then to inspect the local wood in the area. For the bank, lets start at the front and work towards the back.

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Haunted-Halloween 2016

Hello wood-inspecting ROBLOXians. WoodReviewer here, this time I’m inspecting the wood grain in the Halloween 2016  non-event place by Cosmic Nerds. Personally, I don’t care much for Halloween. When I was younger I would just reuse the same costume every year, and stopped trick-or-treating when I figured out it was easier to just spend $10 on candy the next day and get what I want rather than spending 2 hours getting candy that I don’t really like. But enough about childhood traumas, the focus here in on the wood grain.

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Ignore the costume; couldn’t figure out how to unequip stuff

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IDK-The Donald Trump Tycoon

Hello people of ROBLOX, WoodReviewer here. Today I am taking a look at The Donald Trump Tycoon. This is the third or fourth time I’ve written this review. Honestly not sure how I should handle it since basically no matter what jokes I make will cause some drama on Twitter or something, and I really don’t feel like dealing with drama today since I’m looking forward to a nice, relaxing weekend chopping firewood. So instead of trying to make some witty commentary I am just going to review the wood. Also, if you are one of the creators of the game, I’m sorry if your game gets taken down as a result of this since quite a few ROBLOX employees (hi bob) follow me and may see it. Your tycoon system was surprisingly good, especially compared to other Trump cash-in games on Steam and elsewhere. But now onto the wood grain.

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Old Money-Home Tycoon

Hello old players of ROBLOX, WoodReviewer here. Today I am taking a look at an older place in ROBLOX’s history, Home Tycoon by Nightcaller. It is a fairly rare place, one that falls into the category of being an older tycoon on ROBLOX that still works while also having wood grain. Many of the classic games no longer work or have been removed by players. While I know many people look down at these games as being inferior to current games, I believe there is a certain charm to them. Many of them abuse older dev tricks that aren’t used much anymore, such as using transparency/reflectance, to create more part colors from what use to be a fairly restrictive colour palate. In addition, due to brick limits many lacked proper ground, often resulting in random floating islands of places, and decal limitations meant you could count the pixels in the skybox. And due to CSG not existing and the lack of ROBLOX hats, with only a couple hundred rather than thousands, people had to get creative with how they made things, such as using an upside down beanie cap to make a toilet.

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Spirits-ROBLOX High School Halloween

Hello spirit hunters of ROBLOX, WoodReviewer here, as some of you may be aware, it is now October. It is the glorious time of year where the leave turn colours, a mild chill starts to set in everywhere, and your neighbors that care way too much about Christmas begin to put up their Christmas lights way too early. But before we get there, we still have three holidays to go until we actually get there, with Halloween included. This gives game makers the perfect excuse to decorate their game and, more importantly, it gives me an excuse to look at games I’ve already reviewed that haven’t fixed up their wood grain yet. Today’s victim is ROBLOX High School, since apparently it only takes 8 months to forgive and forget.

As is normal for high school role-play games, I started in the school. Of course, because the the previous incident I was not allowed in the science wing of the school. Still, I was in allowed in the art wing.

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Atleast for a few minutes until I got kicked out for not actually doing art stuff and just painting on the walls, pointing at every bit of bad wood grain. So I then went off and did what I normally do, annoy the most important person I could find. To do this I went to the teachers area. They still had bad shelves here, but thankfully they were all empty and did not have any chemicals on them that could create giant attack hamsters.

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After a few more minutes of moping around the school I went outside and saw this witch area. Thankfully, all the crates had proper wood grain so I can avoid all that. The witch told me that there were a bunch of spirits around that were 100% not caused by a marauding giant hamster that passed through the town 8 months ago. While I wanted to help her get them, I mute ROBLOX games while reviewing them to listen to Saftey Dance and as a result I couldn’t listen for the ghosts in the area.

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While it does take sound to find the ghosts that haunt the area, luckily it does not take any sound to spot the bad wood grain. Right near the witch was this fence, which had bad wood grain.

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And near the fence was this bench that had bad wood grain on its supports. I know for a fact this bench was added since my last visit, since the last time I saw the benches in this area they were stuck under an overturned tank.

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Moving on through the town, one new addition I saw was the spirit store. I believe this was also new, or I just missed it last time because it was on fire. In either case, the wood grain on the vertical parts of the window frames were bad.

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Continuing on through the town, I took a stop at the local mall. This store had bad wood grain, with the boards going from front to back, but the grain going from side to side.

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The next store I stopped in also had bad wood grain, but this time with planks. For the stairs, the grain on the top and front face of the steps should both face the same direction.

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However, since I’m not really interested in buying clothes, I soon left the mall and continued elsewhere. My next stop was the house buying area, as it seems prices were skyrocketing despite the recent destruction of the town. However, as I am just passing through I wasn’t interested, although I would like to not the grain on the posts holding up the roof here were bad.

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Continuing on, I couldn’t really fit this screenshot in a good place but the wood grain on these chair legs is bad, as is tradition for ROBLOX places.

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Moving towards the forest, I began to retrace my steps of the last time I visited ROBLOX High School, right before I was chased out of the town. My first stop was this fishing dock which, just as it had during my previous visit, had improper wood grain on the decking for the dock.

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Moving through the forest, I stopped at the cabins in the woods. These cabins still had improper wood grain on the vertical supports for the porch.

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And with the cabins done, it was once again time for me to leave town. And just as I did last time, my journey ends over looking the ocean, wondering where Zoey is and if she is ok, while also pointing out that the supports for the railings here have bad wood grain.

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And while my time here is over, it feels the same as my first visit. While I still don’t take or accept any blame for the giant hamster attack, subsequent plague, housing market crash, or the recent rise is haunting due to said hamster attack, even if I was somehow responsible for any of that I would not feel bad since the town still had bad wood grain. I’ve personally annoyed, for several months, some of the builders, but despite all that none of the wood grain here was fixed, and some of the additions since my first visit have improper wood grain. Hopefully when I come for a third visit, the grain will be fixed. And if not, I accept no blame for the return of the giant hamster.